Introduction to 'The Assertiveness Workbook' 

By Randy Paterson

Effective communication is an essential component of professional success, a stable family life and personal happiness. The abilty to be assertive is a major part of communication. This step-by-step guide uses cognitive-behavioural techniques to help the reader suffering from assertiveness problems to set realistic personal boundaries and transform interpersonal styles. real-life examples, checklists and exercises are supplemented with support and encouragement.

Here are the first couple of paragraphs to give you a taste...

Two kinds of people pick up books on assertiveness. Some want to polish their image. They have a face they present to the world, and sometimes it cracks. Sometimes the mask falls off. Sometimes people see through it. They want to learn how to hold the maks more firmly, how to present it more rigidly, how to prevent others from seeing them so easily. They have rejected themselves, and they have decided that they want to preserve the personality (or lack of it) that they display to the world. Often they want to learn how to control others more effectively. How to push others to agree with them, see their way of doing things, do it their way.

Some of the skills in this book may help these people in their quest. But the book isn't written for them. At least, it's not written to help them in the way they want to be helped.

Assertiveness ins't about building a good disguise. It's about developing the courage to take the disguise off. It's designed to help the other group of people. The ones who have already tried wearing a mask and have found they can't breathe very well with it on. They want to go out into the world naked-faced, as themselves, but not defenseless. They want to be themselves in a way that doesn't push others off-stage. In a way that invites the people they meet to be more fully themselves too.

Assertiveness, then, is about 'being there'.

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